Dearest Abby,
We all have heard of chronicles. Some good, some bad, some
interesting, some horrifying and some happy, some sad. But the one I'm going to
talk about is ours. When I try to sleep at night, as soon as I close my eyes a
dreaded image is seen. I hear your mom calling up on heaven and earth, I see
your baby sister crying and searching for us and I see you struggling to stay. One
more time- “Let me go back”, and there I am, sitting at the angle of 90 degrees
with sweat running all over my body. This usually happened with me since that
day. The day- when everything transformed monstrously. When everything became a
terrible chaos. I remember every single detail as I look back. As we drove
towards that bridge, everything appeared to be normal and fortunate. Your mum
was busy knitting that pink dress for Emily and you played with her. Everything
was favourable as weather was pleasant and you all laughed and giggled all the
way. What else I could have demanded for? I had the prettiest wife ever with
blonde hair, blue eyes and perfect sharp features. I had a sweet daughter- my
princess, who loved listening to rhymes and stories. I remember myself telling
you your mother’s and my story. I told you that how at first we hated each
other and end it up by laughing as now she was the mother of my 2 kids! But Abby,
you are the real reason behind my happiness. Your mother and sister are equally
important but you; you hold a special place in my heart. I remember holding you
for the first time in my arms with desperation. I remember changing your
clothes and giving you medicines. I remember your tiny little fingers clasping
my hands. I remember your first word ‘Dad’ and your very first step you took in
our living room. I remember myself giving you cycling lessons. And I remember
you getting an all rounder trophy. Abby, I always saw my mirror image in you. You’re
exactly thee same! And well, I remember that day too when they caught hold of
your mother and little sister and killed them instantly by leaving you.
*Awkward Silence*
Not even a single speck of tear fell from my eyes as the
funeral took place. Abby, I was broken and shattered. But then I realized I have
you. Perhaps, it was you who needed much support because when you needed a
mother’s love and care, you lost her. But things started to become worse. You could
not appear for your exams because your attendance fell short. You failed. You became
an introvert from a bubbly child. You went into a major depression. You tried
to kill yourself. But Abby, you have me. You have me as a friend, a companion,
a mother and a saviour. I remember taking you to doctors and spiritualists. I remember
myself baking your favourite apple pie and cheese tart. I remember taking you
for trips and picnics. But after the dooms day, you never smiled. I could only
see dark circles; puffy eyes and blood shot red sclera. I wasn't able to do
anything about it. I couldn't do anything. I realized I failed. I failed as a
lover, a husband, a father and as a man. But Abby, you were the worst affected.
I could have jumped from that same red stained pull if you were not there. You kept
me alive but you yourself kept on drowning. But you really are a gem, my child.
And my son, I really love you and I always did and I promise to continue. I remember
taking your for walks in the evening after dinner. I remember you touching that
red spot which forced us to get out from the car. But I didn't anticipate something
wrong then. Perhaps, that old pull became the most pathetic place all over
gain.
And now as 1 tear streams down my face, I know you’ll be
reading it Abby… reading it from heaven.
I was completely broken when you jumped off the bridge. Perhaps,
your dream of becoming a star is fulfilled Abby. You are the most
tintinnabulating star in the sky, my child! You are always in my heart.
Love,
Dad
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