Dearest Abby

Dearest Abby,
We all have heard of chronicles. Some good, some bad, some interesting, some horrifying and some happy, some sad. But the one I'm going to talk about is ours. When I try to sleep at night, as soon as I close my eyes a dreaded image is seen. I hear your mom calling up on heaven and earth, I see your baby sister crying and searching for us and I see you struggling to stay. One more time- “Let me go back”, and there I am, sitting at the angle of 90 degrees with sweat running all over my body. This usually happened with me since that day. The day- when everything transformed monstrously. When everything became a terrible chaos. I remember every single detail as I look back. As we drove towards that bridge, everything appeared to be normal and fortunate. Your mum was busy knitting that pink dress for Emily and you played with her. Everything was favourable as weather was pleasant and you all laughed and giggled all the way. What else I could have demanded for? I had the prettiest wife ever with blonde hair, blue eyes and perfect sharp features. I had a sweet daughter- my princess, who loved listening to rhymes and stories. I remember myself telling you your mother’s and my story. I told you that how at first we hated each other and end it up by laughing as now she was the mother of my 2 kids! But Abby, you are the real reason behind my happiness. Your mother and sister are equally important but you; you hold a special place in my heart. I remember holding you for the first time in my arms with desperation. I remember changing your clothes and giving you medicines. I remember your tiny little fingers clasping my hands. I remember your first word ‘Dad’ and your very first step you took in our living room. I remember myself giving you cycling lessons. And I remember you getting an all rounder trophy. Abby, I always saw my mirror image in you. You’re exactly thee same! And well, I remember that day too when they caught hold of your mother and little sister and killed them instantly by leaving you.
*Awkward Silence*
Not even a single speck of tear fell from my eyes as the funeral took place. Abby, I was broken and shattered. But then I realized I have you. Perhaps, it was you who needed much support because when you needed a mother’s love and care, you lost her. But things started to become worse. You could not appear for your exams because your attendance fell short. You failed. You became an introvert from a bubbly child. You went into a major depression. You tried to kill yourself. But Abby, you have me. You have me as a friend, a companion, a mother and a saviour. I remember taking you to doctors and spiritualists. I remember myself baking your favourite apple pie and cheese tart. I remember taking you for trips and picnics. But after the dooms day, you never smiled. I could only see dark circles; puffy eyes and blood shot red sclera. I wasn't able to do anything about it. I couldn't do anything. I realized I failed. I failed as a lover, a husband, a father and as a man. But Abby, you were the worst affected. I could have jumped from that same red stained pull if you were not there. You kept me alive but you yourself kept on drowning. But you really are a gem, my child. And my son, I really love you and I always did and I promise to continue. I remember taking your for walks in the evening after dinner. I remember you touching that red spot which forced us to get out from the car. But I didn't anticipate something wrong then. Perhaps, that old pull became the most pathetic place all over gain.
And now as 1 tear streams down my face, I know you’ll be reading it Abby… reading it from heaven.
I was completely broken when you jumped off the bridge. Perhaps, your dream of becoming a star is fulfilled Abby. You are the most tintinnabulating star in the sky, my child! You are always in my heart.
Love,
Dad 

The Untold Tale

Dearest Veronica,

The past cannot be changed,  forgotten, edited, OR erased… it can only be accepted.

And my child, you have to do the same. In fact, you ought to do the same. There was a time back then when I used to be innocent and naïve as you are now. I was a high school student- studious and serious but then just one mistake at the age of sixteen ruined me completely. I used to be joyous, fun loving and dedicated towards everything simultaneously. I was free as a bird when I entered high school and I wasn't bounded by limitations. It was my life now and I had complete hold of it. I had that freedom. It was only then when I met him- your father.  We all were at your aunt’s house and extremely drunk. That was for the first time I sensed something exhilarating and different between us. Continuously looking at the stars with our bodies entwined, hands held tight and with country songs being played in the background. To be honest, I preferred something soothing and light but in that moment, those sounds and beats were of no use to us. I swear we were infinite in that very moment! He was tall and slender. He was beautiful, my love. With his hair falling on his face and that shine in his sea-green eyes, Oh my! He was no less than a star. It was for the first time that we both made love under the tintinnabulating stars and tender-tiny rain drops which merged with my drops- drops of pain. Drops of satisfaction, drops of pain and drops of ecstasy.  The cool sea breeze struck our stripped off bodies and went back, and then again did the same. Once we were through, we got dressed and sat with his arm caressing my back and my head resting on his shoulder.  That was one of a night, a night to be remembered forever.

Sing, sweet nightingale. Sing me a song of night never ending!

It was days later when I became acquainted with the fact that changed my life. Entirely. I was thrown on the roads as soon as my parents discovered that I was expecting my first child. I was completely shattered by their behaviour. My lanky love couldn't digest this fact so he jumped off the bridge. At that initial moment, I was torn into million pieces, Veronica. My parents left me, he suicide and I was there- standing at the same bridge with you within me. I could have killed myself too, but then I didn't want to be a killer of that child- with his blood running in him/her. I decided to live. Live-not for me, not for the society but just for our last loving moments. To be precise, for you my child. I started living at your aunt’s place and earned by painting. That painting you see hanging above the cabinet, signifies that last night with your father. I started working with an advertising firm which helped me to buy of house of my own.  I used to miss everyone at times but he, he remained in my heart for ever. I never wanted him to end up things like this.

I never pictured it ending this way. But then again, I never spent a day without loving him like I used to.

Perhaps, when I woke up that noon dressed in pink hospital clothes, a wide smile appeared as I glanced you. I've had given birth to the prettiest soul ever. Yes Veronica- you! Slowly you started uttering and walking and it was then when I started worrying about past. I gave you the best of all I could. I loved you and cared for as I had to play your father’s role too.And now when you’re finally sixteen, I stand proudly for you are like your father- beautiful, green-eyed and sylphlike. I committed mistake at the same age as yours which gave me the purest happiness as well as took my happiness away. I want you to be safe, sound and vigilant my love. Do what you want to, but just don’t act like a nincompoop. Your father must have been proud today seeing you achieve success. Forgive me for all my mistakes, if possible, I've always wished for your happiness. Nothing more. Nothing less. It’s your life now. Your freedom. I've told you the story. The untold story.

Everyone has a dark side and a bright side, my past is the darker side and you are the brighter side..

Happy Sixteenth Veronica.

The story has been revealed.

The untold story is no longer unsung.

Love,

Your Mother.