I still remember how you uttered *I love you* and *you are my everything* an year and a half back. I still am able to recall how you said that *I suit you the best*. I remember how you yearned to meet and to be with me. Those songs, sayings and words still echo like a thunder.
Was there something ever between us? If I compare it with reknown epics, then no and if I see it in a simple way, then yes. But then, is recalling all that after so long of any worth? It is nowhere around it.
I was wondering a lot about you the other night, don't know why. By the way do you still remember when we met in the month of March when leaves fell one after the another as if they were competing?
I do remember. The course of wind changed suddenly when we met and it was all sweet and calm. The sky changed like a chameleon and provided the most perfect canvas and cotton balls flew in all directions creating infinite patterns.
The green metal bench we sat upon has rusted a bit and its paint is chipping off. It remains covered with dried leaves and petals as it was back then but no one is seeing dusting it as you did. The canopy that covered it is still the same but a bit old, like our love. You talked of love and care and blabbered words and dialogues to sooth. But weren't you doing our favorite thing- Acting all this time? Weren't you acting all throughout; or just lying, maybe?
You said you loved me, and that I meant everything to you but was it true? Even if it was, then what is actually happening at the period? Were all your sweet and little whispers an epitome of virtual world or of a world full of lies?
Maybe. Maybe not.
But all I know is that I have cried for
Each day you re enter and exit creating a void. You have given birth to a silent chaos in my life via heart.
Your presence yet absence leads to a confusion, often seen by none but observed only by the lover.
I do not know whether it is love or not. I don't know whether you really meant when you said you loved me or not.
The disturbing thoughts of you and day dreams previously haunted me. Nights used to suffocate me and all I did back then was stare at the ceiling and feel my own voice.
But all I know is that there has been a transition. Of course, I still miss you hard and sometimes cry too. I re read your comments and replies and pity myself But I am able to sleep better now.
You are no new to my heart and brain but the intensity is falling.
With the changing times, people change and so do feelings. My feelings are intact indeed, but then your feelings? I rather not say a word. I don't have the authority to say in the first place.
Maybe I have lately realized that you were never meant to be mine. Maybe I have realized that we are just like flowers; part of the same plant but used for different occasions- celebrations and mourning.
Celebration of your happiness and Mourning of my loss.
In the pictures: Pratiksha
